Thursday, May 21, 2009

A Half of Stick of Gum

Sunday our High Councilor spoke. I had an amazing experience. It had been a really painful week. Someone had said something to me that really hurt and caused me to question what on earth to do with such information. Talking to them was of no use. As usual I just had to deal with my feelings and forgive.
So at church our speaker talked about this scripture:

Alma 56:15-17 15 "And these are the cities which they possessed when I arrived at the city of Judea; and I found Antipus and his men toiling with their might to fortify the city.

16 Yea, and they were depressed in body as well as in spirit, for they had fought valiantly by day and toiled by night to maintain their cities; and thus they had suffered great afflictions of every kind.

17 And now they were determined to conquer in this place or die; therefore you may well suppose that this little force which I brought with me, yea, those sons of mine, gave them great hopes and much joy."

My immediate thought was "I need someone to fortify me...to reach out and strengthen me. I hurt." But even as I thought it another thought replaced it "you know that's not how it works. You are healed as you reach out to others." I know but sometimes you just long for someone to reach out to you.
The speaker then went on to quote from the baptismal covenant in Mosiah 18:

8 "And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;

9 Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life— "

Yes, I thought, that is the covenant I made and that is how I want to be. Sometimes it's just a little harder than other times.


Next he spoke of the new commandment our Savior gave to his disciples found in John. Our Savior knew that what they would miss most when He was gone was His love. That is what we all miss but rarely recognize it.

John 13:33 Little children, yet a little while I am with you. Ye shall seek me: and as I said unto the Jews, Whither I go, ye cannot come; so now I say to you.

34 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.

35 By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.


We feel His love for us as we share His love with His children.


He went on to quote from Matthew which I have quoted here before:

Matthew 11:28 “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you crest.

29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Ah...there's the key. We can be comforted and find strength to be healed even in the midst of great adversity if we "come unto" Him. And as Neal Maxwell taught "Empathy during agony is a portion of divinity."

As I was contemplating all of this a little boy, about 2 years old, left his family on the other side of the chapel from where I was sitting and came over to me. He handed me a half stick of gum and walked back to his family. I sat and marveled. A minute later he walked back over and shyly stood at the end of the bench where I was sitting. I motioned to him several times to come over but he didn't. Finally he walked to me and whispered "do you need more gum?" "No" I said. “I am fine. But thank you!" and he walked away.

The speaker ended his talk with a quote from Elder Holland's conference talk of October 2008. I love this:

“My beloved brothers and sisters, I testify of angels, both the heavenly and the mortal kind. In doing so I am testifying that God never leaves us alone, never leaves us unaided in the challenges that we face. “[N]or will he, so long as time shall last, or the earth shall stand, or there shall be one man [or woman or child] upon the face thereof to be saved.” On occasions, global or personal, we may feel we are distanced from God, shut out from heaven, lost, alone in dark and dreary places. Often enough that distress can be of our own making, but even then the Father of us all is watching and assisting. And always there are those angels who come and go all around us, seen and unseen, known and unknown, mortal and immortal.

“May we all believe more readily in, and have more gratitude for, the Lord’s promise as contained in one of President Monson’s favorite scriptures: “I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, . . . my Spirit shall be in your [heart], and mine angels round about you, to bear you up.” In the process of praying for those angels to attend us, may we all try to be a little more angelic ourselves—with a kind word, a strong arm, a declaration of faith and “the covenant wherewith [we] have covenanted.” Perhaps then we can be emissaries sent from God when someone… is crying,.. .”


Now it's true that our mission is to know the Savior so well that we can reach out to His children in love and compassion like Him, for Him but He loves us and will send angels when we really need them. They may come in the form of a loved one calling to chat, a co-worker telling us we are doing a great job, a friend who waves as they drive by our house, a speaker in sacrament meeting who listens to the spirit and speaks to our heart. Or they may come as a little child offering a half stick of gum.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Eat and Sleep, Eat and Sleep...

All I want to do is eat
and spend money. After that I want a nap.

Then I can get up and look at what I bought. And eat some more.

I DON't want to work. Pretty much everything feels overwhelming!
I need some motivation!

AHHH! There it is.

Ether 12: 27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.


Saturday, May 9, 2009

Shopping eye opener

As you know I love to shop for shoes. It's because shoes fit...clothes not so much. I went shopping a few weeks ago and since Katie wasn't there (of course I went to Nordstrom...have been getting shoes there since I was a little girl in Seattle! I like shoes that actually fit and are great quality.) I was forced to have a man help me who was so less than interested. In fact I wandered around for a long time before anyone offered to help me. Kind of unusual but I think it's because there were a lot of more stylish types shopping that day. Since my hamstring tear and my arch, heal, and toe pain I have to be picky about the shoes I wear. I get tired of sore feet and I can't buy anything that could even possibly cause me to slip on those tile floors at work. So I have to try on a lot of shoes. Try to find a cut sandal with arch support. Oh, there were a few but they were $150+. Can't do that! Anyway, I tried on lots of shoes and I swear I could hear the guy sigh! Finally I picked a Dansko (my new shoe of choice for both safety and comfort) sandals and a Born flat that had a little arch. And I used my $20 reward so it helped.
I decided to go upstairs to check out the clothes. When I worked in Encore there were really cute clothes. Now they are ugly and awful. As I was walking around I noticed how much of a no one I was to people. Paranoid? I don't think so. It is really difficult to be a "large" person in a world where thin and stylish is valued. I started the self talk "you are a beautiful, wonderful person and Heavenly Father loves you!" I couldn't wait to get out.
I went to Dillard's where I really hate to shop. I don't like their policies and good luck getting any help! But they have a really large shoe selection (and unlike Nords not quite so stylish and lots of Merrel, keva, born, simple, ecco, etc) I was there forever because they are woahfully understaffed! I didn't even attempt to look at clothes.
I left exhausted and deflated. And reminded that true beauty is on the inside but has to be projected to those around you for them to see it. My sense of acceptance and worth cannot come from how people...especially strangers...treat me. If I want to be valued I must treat others in a manner that THEY will feel loved and valued.
I, of course, returned some shoes. When I went back I decided I should just stick with Dansko. They don't hurt your toes because your toes don't touch anything. They have support and they have safe soles. So I bought the pair I should have bought in the first place and to add to they awesomeness of the whole experience I had another $20 off plus the guy who waited on me this time was really nice and treated me like I mattered. Maybe that day I was projecting the love I know Heavenly Father has for me and all of His children!